I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
