Umm I'm too high to move.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
