dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
