I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
