He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
