were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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