Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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