I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
