I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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