If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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