Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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