You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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