He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize