Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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