Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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