Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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