He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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