ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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