i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
