OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
