I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
