also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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