been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
