I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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