That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
