Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
