i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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