super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
