i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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