Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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