Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
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My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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