She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
