our cab driver is having phone sex.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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