there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
