Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
