i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
