Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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