so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
