Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
