Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
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Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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