i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
