I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
