32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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