Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
