Need sex. Gaining weight.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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