pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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