I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize