This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
