You just made me feel so damn special
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
