At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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