no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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