she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
