Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
