so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
