We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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