i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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