we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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