how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
