I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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