You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
