that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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