drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
