do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
