Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
