He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
