Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
