im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
porn star boner night. come get it.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
