But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My pussy is not your playground.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
